I love the intellectual humor of someone with a wonderful wit. Give me a good one-liner and you will have me cracking up. The world is full of wise, witty women and each has their fair share of quotations. Here are a few of my favorites.
1. "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." - Mae West
It's certainly not the worst way I've ever heard to make a decision! Thanks, Mae, for your wonderful words of wisdom. I think I need to post them in my office.
2. "Happiness is good health and a bad memory." - Ingrid Bergman
Everyone has something that they would like to forget, and often dwelling on these things is a key factor in unhappiness. The faster you can forget the mistakes, the quicker that you can be back to your happy self.
3. "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
What is it about women in groups that seems to lead to gossip? I certainly don't exclude myself from this group! A little cattiness and fun is to be expected when you gather a group of interesting people.
4. "If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor." - Joan Rivers
While Rivers may not always be on my "most-witty" list, I absolutely cracked up the first time I read this quote. The more I searched for Rivers online, the more clever one-liners I stumbled across. It seems that she may be more than a wacky television personality!
5. "I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true." - Katharine Hepburn
Lies are often much easier to take than the truth, as Hepburn so eloquently states. If something is printed (or said) that is untrue, at least you can feel confident in your knowledge that the information is fake and will blow over. The truth, however, is much harder to get rid of.
6. "The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous." - Shana Alexander
What is it about success that makes people uncomfortable or nervous? It seems that fear of success is almost as prevalent as fear of failure nowadays.
7. "I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." - Roseanne Barr
Just because vacuuming is one of my least favorite chores....